i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Everyone says I win the strip club
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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