It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Randomize
