they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
