guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
