I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
40s are totally the cure
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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