Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
