I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize