I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
