Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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