yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
