rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Randomize