the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
