Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
