All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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