do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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