Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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