he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
