Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
