my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
