Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize