im gay
i know
yea but for you.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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