my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
