How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
