can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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