Why are handjobs necessary in class?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
