Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
