I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize