oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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