I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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