I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
