He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
