eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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