it wasn't lemon gatorade
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
