We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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