worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
