It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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