I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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