break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
