I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
