I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize
