I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
