at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
