Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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