When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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