someone threw a dead crab at me
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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