You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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