I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
