Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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