So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize