This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
