Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
