Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize