so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
