apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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