oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
