I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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