My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I smell like Dick and happiness
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
