Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
