ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
