another moral hangover. fuck.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
