Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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