I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
