Have you finally orgasmed yet?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Randomize
