i permit you to call me
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
