Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
