we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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