You're completely useless in the revolution.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
