I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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