You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
only if we run a train.
done.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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