dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
