she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize