one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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