For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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